Raising positive and healthy children is one of the toughest yet most fulfilling job in the world and this is the only job we are least prepared for or had any training at all. Learning “on the job” how to become best as parent takes us to the road of ultimate errors. Here are some easy and powerful habits to tackle your child-rearing responsibilities that will help you feeling more fulfilled as a parent.
1) Cultivate your child’s self esteem
Children start developing their sense of self as babies when they see themselves through your eyes. Your tone of voice, your body language, and your every expression is absorbed by your child. Your words and actions as parents affect your child’s developing self-image more than anything else in his world. Accordingly, praising your child for his accomplishment, however small, will make him feel proud. On the other hand, belittling your child or comparing him unfavorably to another will make him feel worthless.
Do’s: use statement like “very good” or “excellent”, “I am sure you can do better”, this type of statement will promote him going ahead with confidence.
Don’t ever use statements like: “What a stupid thing to do!” or “You act more like a baby than your little brother!” this type of statement will make him inferior in his own eyes will leave a negative impact on his personality.
2) Be unfailing with discipline
Discipline is of high importance in every house. The purpose of discipline is to promote healthy practices in children. Children may test the limits you set for them but they need limits to grow into dependable adults. Establishing discipline may include: homework is to be done before any television, video games or any other leisure time are granted, or hitting, name-calling and hurtful teasing are unacceptable.
Do’s: have a system like one warning, followed by consequences such as loss of privileges.
Don’t: A common mistake parents make is failure to follow through with penalty when rules are broken. A rule without penalty is not a rule at all-it’s a mere threat. You can never discipline child by doing this. Being consistent sets an example of what expect from our children.
3) Spend quality time with children
In today’s world where everyone is serving high demanding jobs, it’s often becomes very difficult for parents and children to get together for a family meal even, let alone spend some quality time together. However, there is probably nothing your child would like more. Get up 10 minutes earlier in the morning so you can eat breakfast with your child or leave the dishes in the sink and take a walk after dinner. Children who miss the attention they want from their parents often misbehave to get noticed.
Never feel too guilty if you’re a working parent. Quantity time is not really as important as quality time is.
Do’s: making popcorn together, playing cards and window-shopping.
Don’t: Taking them to mall or movies, as this will distract the bonding from you to other worldly pleasures.
4) Become a role model for your child
Children learn a lot from observing you and environment you create. So be constantly aware that you are being observed by your children. Studies have shown that children who hit usually have a role model of aggression at home. Create the environment at home by which you cultivate the positive traits you actually wish to foster in your child.
Do’s: expressing thanks, giving compliments etc.
Don’ts: neglecting their small efforts or saying no big deal.
5) Make two way communications a priority
You can’t expect children to do everything simply because you, as parents, “say so.” Children want and deserve explanations as much as adults do. If we don’t take time to explain, children will begin to wonder about our values and motives and whether they have any basis. Parents who reason with their children allows them to understand and listen their concerns learn in a non-judgmental way.
Do’s: give reason for your decisions and suggestions
Don’ts: don’t ever use statements such as “you have to do it”, or “I said so”.
6) Show your love is unconditional
As a parent, you are responsible for correcting and guiding your child. But how you express your corrective guidance makes all the difference in how your child receives it. Instead, strive to nurture and encourage even when you are disciplining your child. Make sure he knows that while you want and expect him to do better next time, you love him-no matter what.
Do’s: Use statements like “no problems we will do it together next time”.
Don’ts: When you have to confront your child, avoid blaming, criticizing or faultfinding.